The first signs only became clear to Lennon in hindsight during therapy sessions. "I didn't realize it at all until it was too late." Towards the end of his stint at Tottenham, he would feel tired for no reason, struggled to sleep, and gradually lost joy in the things around him. When he joined Everton, the new challenge temporarily masked his problems, but a few years later they returned and developed into deep depression. Even so, he continued to function according to the usual routine in front of his teammates and managed to hide his true mental state for a long time.
He couldn't bring himself to ask for help, even when he needed it most. His personality and the environment of professional football, where admitting weakness is extremely difficult, held him back: "Especially for men, it's the hardest thing to say: Actually, I don't feel well today, I need to talk to someone." Lennon was used to helping others and handling everything on his own all his life. He was also afraid that admitting his struggles could jeopardize his place in the lineup.
The crisis eventually culminated in hospitalisation. "I was so low, I had suicidal thoughts, I was at rock bottom." Lennon admitted that even then, he wouldn't have asked for help on his own, and looking back, he sees being taken to the hospital as the moment that saved his life. Together with Petr Čech, he also discussed how the approach to mental health in football has changed since then. During Lennon's career, they said, clubs lacked specialists who could address players' psychological issues.
The full TV version of this episode of the Big Pete documentary series will be available on CANAL+ Sport and the CANAL+ streaming service in the Czech Republic, Slovakia, France, Poland, Myanmar, Belgium, the Netherlands, Austria, Romania, and Hungary, and on SuperSport in South Africa and Switzerland.